Last week I started a short series on managing stress. The first key discussed is to learn people skills. You can read this post here. The key we’ll explore this week is to learn how to manage your own emotions.
Key #2: Learn to manage your emotions
Dealing with people issues, work demands and difficult life situations leave all of us with challenges and a need to manage our emotions. You may not be able to change your circumstances, but you can choose what you believe about your circumstances.
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a phrase that has been made popular by Daniel Goleman and it “refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions.” Take an Emotional Intelligence quiz here.
Goleman states that emotional intelligence increases with age and can be learned. This learning, however, is not focused on new information but self awareness. To develop emotional intelligence you must pay close attention to yourself. Begin by asking these to questions:
- “What old habit am I holding onto that is preventing me from making progress?”
- “What new habit do I want to put in its place?”
Once you are clear on these begin to track when you display the old habit and intentionally practice the new habit. For example, instead of putting mail into a pile to sort through later, look at the mail immediately and discard what you know is junk mail and put whatever is left in a place to look at once or twice per week.
Another way to develop EI is to invite the input of others who are willing to accurately share what they see about your way of being at home, at work, at church, and wherever else you desire to grow. By asking for and welcoming this input, you will have greater understanding of yourself and how you respond to situations.
One thing is certain and that is building emotional intelligence will not happen without intentional effort.
Last week I mentioned the Peoplemap personality assessment as a tool to help you with relationships. As a result, 15 copies were ordered. If you would like to learn more and get your own copy of the Peoplemap visit here and discover how helpful this can be for you.
This week I’m offering a complimentary copy of Daniel Goleman’s article on Emotional Intelligence. If you would like a copy please email me and mention the article on the subject line. I’ll send it right out to you. This comes with an offer of a complimentary 25 minute coaching call to help you learn the skills needed to manage relationships so don’t wait. Email me and set up a complimentary 25 minute coaching call today.